Books -- source of our kids' intellect

If we encountered a man or rare intellect, we should ask him what books he read.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This week was Book Week at Princess’ school. It culminated in a Book Character Parade today at 9.15am at the school. Oh what fun it was. Principal came as Cruela de Vil – what good sport. Principal’s assistant was the Wicked Witch with a basket full of poison toadstools. Princess and her friend went as Cat in the Hat.

There was Yoda, my favourite. Indiana Jones, another favourite. There were Edwards and Bellas (from the recent Twilight series). One class formed a huge Hungry Caterpillar. We spotted Wally and Caesar, and Robin Hood. Sponge Bob, Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine were all on parade.

It was fun for the kids. An entire school, including the school caretaker, got to dress up as a character (from a book, oh well, film that made it to bookdom as well).

How many nights have I spent reading and reading Mrs Gaddy the Ghost? How many times since Princess was 3 months did I read and reread Brown bear, brown bear what do you see….and how many times did we read Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things are? Or We are going on a bear hunt, we’re going to catch a big one…???

I loved every memory of our bedtime reading. Princess has moved beyond bear hunts and Mrs Gaddy. She is onto bigger books. Her current reading list is an eclectic mix of Lang Lang's Journey of a Thousand Miles (world famous pianist’s biography), Anne Frank’s Diary; and a couple of other popular books for teenagers. She told me today none of her classmates knew the quiz question on The Secret Garden. I am glad I introduced her early to Frances Hodgson Burnett. Between then and now, we have built quite a library. Last year, we parted finally, with Geronimo Stilton, our beloved reporter mouse with a small heart. We also sold our entire Roald Dahl collection on Trade Me. The sale was sad but necessary. Space at home is finite. Our love for books is infinite. We are clutching onto an entire collection of Lemony Snickett, and a whole series of Colin Thompson's How to Live Forever and others.

I have no regrets spending all the money I spent on books. I am sure I will buy more as the years go by but we are at this space where I can share books with Princess. I would still like her to read teenage books though she has read bits of April Fool’s Day and found it too depressing to move on. She has also read parts of my Orson Scott-Card’s Ender’s Game and yet to catch on to the story-telling brilliance ala Scott-Card.

Books are a treasure. We don’t put dog ears on our books. We don’t deface books by scribbling on them. We don’t stress their spines by folding a whole lot of pages together. Books are almost objects of worship at home. They give us a space to retreat, to reminisce, to laugh, to wonder, to inspire, and renew ourselves daily. Ah, the beauty we call books!

Life's not fair, get used to it!

Two of my friends have sent me this chain mail. It is worth repeating because I love the key messages in there. We need to teach our young that life doesn't owe them anything. Whatever we experience in a sheltered environment is not likely to be repeated in the real world.

This set of rules has been attributed to Bill Gates but I can't vouch for it. The message is simple yet profound. So here it is for those who haven't seen it yet.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

If you agree, pass it on.

If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

Happy reading!

American Julian Robertson's art gift to New Zealand

Ever so often one comes across a piece of news that makes one take notice. When I used to cover the financial markets in Singapore as a journo, I got the chance to interview many financial wizards. Too bad I never had the chance to catch up with Julian Robertson. I love the name Julian. If I had a son, he would have been called Julian. Julian Robertson was famed for his Tiger Fund then. It was an era of hedge fund heady-ness, and I remember the traders in Singapore drinking on the highs. Those were the days.

Yesterday hubby pointed me to news of Julian Robertson gifting 15 major pieces of artwork -- including works by Paul Cezanne, Pablo Picasso, Henri Matisse, Paul Gauguin and Piet Mondrian -- to the Auckland Art Gallery. The art work will be on display in Auckland for a month before travelling to Te Papa in Wellington, then home to the Robertson's in New York.

According to the NZ Herald, the late 19th to mid 20th century paintings by prominent European artists come from the private collection of New Yorkers Julian and Josie Robertson, who have strong ties to New Zealand -- including ownership of the Kauri Cliffs and Cape Kidnappers golf courses.

Good on Julian Robertson, perhaps Princess and I will trot down to the Auckland Art Gallery to take a look at these art works. I first learnt of cubism art from Princess, when at year 3 or 4, her class had to do Picasso-like art work. Princess then had to write about Picasso and his life. She even learnt of Dora Maar, Picasso's "girlfriend" (mistress in the adult world). One school holiday, we even designed a boardgame together, based on Picasso and his life.

Robertson graduated from the University of North Carolina with a degree in business administration in 1955. He had a stint in the Navy, then joined Kidder, Peabody & Co. in New York in 1957 and, over the years became a wizard of Wall Street's.

When he was 48 years old, he started out on his own, setting up the investment/hedge fund firm, Tiger Management Group, in 1980. The fund quickly grew, and within 10 years had reached $1 billion in investments; and then to $21 billion in 1998. After a series of successes, he got badly hit by the markets and his fund shrunk back in size to $6 billion. He then decided to walk away from the markets in 2000, telling his clients he simply didn't "understand the markets anymore".

He did later make a comeback but in between found a magnificent spot in New Zealand to play golf. At Kauri Cliffs (ranked in 2005 by Golf Magazine as No 58 in the world), and Cape Kidnappers (another golf course in Northland, ranked 27th in the golf world by the same magazine), Julian Robertson can play all the golf he wants.

By now, Julian Robertson's investment savvy is legendary. He has given up managing other people's money directly. Instead, he is a "talent spotter" picking a group of market wizards who manages funds he then invests in. He has done well. According to media reports, his tiger cubs (investment managers he is betting on) have returned above market averages, using the same style he uses. Julian Robertson has been betting the American economy will tank, and foreign investors will stop buying US bonds. He would have done very well indeed.

What does this man do for a living now? The firm that was founded to support Julian Robertson's own funds now provides infrastructure for and invests in a total of 34 hedge funds, employing a wide variety of different strategies, with a total of about $26 billion under management.

Julian Robertson and his wife first came to New Zealand in 1979. It was to be his writing retreat -- the great American novel was his dream. He says in his statement on the gifting of his art works to New Zealand. "We have had a lifelong love affair with New Zealand . We love Auckland. And we love these pictures. That's why we were so pleased when we brought these works to New Zealand that New Zealanders seemed to enjoy them as much as we do. Frankly, bringing the pictures was probably the most appreciated thing we have ever done. We are delighted to be able to make this gift."

He and his wife Josie have made other generous donations to various courses including the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in New York City; the Health Care Chaplaincy; the Central Park Conservancy; cancer research; and public and private elementary and secondary education.

Check out this article from Bloomberg which follows up on what Julian Robertson has been up to at Kauri Cliffs.

My favourite quote from Julian Robertson: "When you manage money, it takes over your life." He says of his current lifestyle: "I really like this better."

Mother's Day -- No gifts but a thank you!

You can't miss Mother's Day these days. The commercials in the media start at least a month before. How many pieces of jewellery can one buy for her/his mother? I don't believe in going out to a restaurant on Mother's day either -- it is a sheer ripoff. Countless other families are out there, buying their moms massive meals. The service is often bad and the food sub-standard even at the best restaurants.

So, I stopped fussing about Mother's Day. I have long decided a phone call per week to mom will be my routine until she dies. Mom frets when I don't call after a week. She has "hunted" me down, via friends whose phone numbers she sas.

I stopped worrying about what mom thinks. That is not to say I don't care about her. I do. How can I not when her lessons make me who I am or who I am not. We have our share of tensions but mostly we are best frieds, and we share many hours of gripe, fun and laugher over the phone.

** Mom is a stauch believer in "Never eat beef". Bah? What nonsense is my rationale. Her belief stems from an old Taiost/Buddhist/folklorish devotees' vow not to eat beef as the Goddess Kuan Yin's (Goddess of Compassion) father was supposedly reincarnated as a cow. Hence out of respect to this beautiful goddess, the vow of not eating beef. I don't normally cook beef at home simply because my cooking repertoire comes from mom, and beef wasn't ever in her menu. But my logic is if you can eat pork or chicken, then you can eat beef...So the same rationale goes down the drain too for those who don't eat pork. Sigh.

** Mom, the extreme lover of clothes. For me, clothes are necessities. How many pieces of clothing does one need? Mom needs many. Mom does not stop buying clothes. She sends us boxes of clothes. They sit in the closet, unused for years. I have basics and a few pieces that I am attached to. Once in a blue moon, I set out to Farmers or Stax to get something nice. Not often. Just once in a while. I love whites, and clean cut clothes. Mom loves "drama" in her clothes. Beads, ornaments, embroidery. She can never get enough of them. Here we are poles apart. Like cheese and chalk. She used to make me 15 dresses/outfits; one for everyday of the 15 days of Chinese New Year.

** Mom is a consumate cook/entertainer. Mom cooks in gargantuan proportions. She doesn't just cook. She caters, always. Our family meals are never simple. On festive occassions, cooking starts a week before with grocery shopping. Preparation time can be counted in eons. Cooking time, unbelievably long. I love entertaining too...but I am a lazy cook, and I love simplicity. So when I cook, I cook only what I can manage. But my friends tell me I overcook -- so I carry my mom's genes, afterall.

** Mom can take hard knocks in life. Mom married my dad, as a second choice. Her first love was someone from her childhood. Her father, in his mypia, forbid the courtship. Then dad came along. I would say mom has carried lots of burden -- the burden of first love lost, the burden of raising us, the burden of always having to make ends meet, the burden of always having something to worry about, the burden of ensuring all the traditions are kept, and all looks nice on the surface. She should be learning ballroom dancing, going singing with her friends and going to Chi Qong classes. Instead she is earthbound -- by my brother's 2 young children. She brings a cook meal to my niece everyday during morning tea time! Her agelines grow. Her sleep is always short. She hasn't been truly given a chance to relax. She deserves a bloody good rest!

** Mom is a Keeper of Oaths. Mom is never a tale tatter. This was her biggest and most valuable lesson to me. "Never carry a tale, especially when it causes hurt," she always says. I thank mom for that. Very often, I think about this and cherish the lesson.

** Mom the ever loyal friend. Mom is born in the year of the Pig. One of her characteristics is loyalty. She doesn't ever turn on a fried, never. Once, her friend "ran" off with a couple of thousands of dollars in a scheme of "ton-tine" (A self-regulated investment scheme commonly used by Chinese women to raise money.) Her friend couldn't repay the money owed to the scheme. In all her kindness and magnanimity, mom allowed her friend to repay back the money over a period of time -- it took all of 15 years or more....How generous is that?

** Mom the story-teller and muse. Mom loves to sing, loves Chinese opera and Korean drama. She loves story telling. When we were kids, we used to perch around her, listening to stories she read from Chinese newspapers -- following tales of romance, tragedy, horror and the grotesque through her voice. She was a consumate story teller....My favourite was and still is Butterfly Lovers, a story of star-crossed lovers who found a kind of redemption in the end. Tragic but breathtaking in its beauty and pathos.

So as we celebrate Mothers Day, I remember mom's lessons to me. "We should always remember there will always be living better than us, don't make comparisons that would cause you unhappiness." So her lesson is contentment.

"We should always keep a secret told to us in confidence." Here is a lesson in privacy and loyalty.

"We should always give the best portion of food to others." Her generosityt puts me to shame.

So, here's to all our mothers who make us who and what we have become. No wonder the Buddhists reserve the highest dedications to all mothers and mother sentient beings. Happy Mothers Day mom!

Avatar - The Last Airbender

For the last week or so -- and including the last 2 days -- Princess and I have been glued to the telly, watching a little bald boy and his odd group of friends set out on a journey to restore balance to a world corrupted by the Fire Nation. Princess' Aunt introduced us to Avatar, now we can't stop it from invading our telly time.
We watched and rewatch some parts; and check out the special interviews. We want to know the creatures and the amazing people behind the scenes.

Since Easter, hardly a day has has gone by without us talking our "Avatar" talk. We are so besotted by Aang (the airbending hero who has a blue arrow running from his back to his forehead), Zuko(a Fire Nation prince who goes through a series of personal and spiritual transformations, Katara (the ever lovely Waterbender from the Southern Water tribe) and her brother Sokka (the silly but practical boy who seems to have a huge mind for science) and a blind sharp-tongued earthbender called Toph. We love Appa, the fury and snowhite giant bison with six legs that zips through the air like an aeroplane, and the lemur Momo which makes a funny screeching noise.

It was easy for Princess and I to fall in love with Avatar the anime series. The people who wrote the stories did such a splendid job that we went on an emotional journey with the characters. The animation was stunning and the theme music was catchy. Princess does the 4 different styles of kicks that comes with each of the 4 nations (Water, Earth, Fire and Air). She mouths the introduction to the series, imitating the American accent. I have a good laugh each time. Now we have to wait for the movie, due in 2010 (directed by directed by M Night Shyamalan. I wish they came to NZ to scout for talent, and picked Peter Jackson for this. He would have done a spectacular job -- and Aoteroa would have a chance to shine in the customs department!

Not since Hayao Miyazaki's (the master of Japanese animation)My Neighbour Totoro, and Spirited Away have Princess and I been so caught up by the sheer brilliance of animation.

With us watching the last of the 3rd box of DVDs from the Avatar anime, there will be a huge gap in our lives. Perhaps I will rewatch My Neighbour Totoro. Perhaps I will rewatch Kiki's Delivery Service or Howls Moving Castle...Ah, the beauty of animation!

I am glad Princess has taken to the content of the Avatar series. We are alike in many ways -- our love for stories. Avatar's themes are adult, but level enough for kids to follow. As humans, our journeys are mostly the same -- we have to fulfil our destinies, we have to learn forgiveness, we have to learn trust, we have to learn loyalty, friendships. and we have to know when to retreat. The tales told in Avatar cover all of those themes and much much more. Thank you Michael Dante DiMartino
Bryan Konietzko (the creators of this series)! I am sure Princess have learnt some amazing stuff just watching this Nickelodean series (which has about 12 discs).

How do children cope with disappointment?

Princess went to a gym competition on Sunday. She didn't win anything. She was all storm clouds and winter despite the sun being most dazzling outside. Not winning is ok, I told her. "Not after all the hours I put in," she says. "You don't know what it feels like, it makes you feel like you are not worth anything!"

I felt sad seeing all her internal turmoil. I tried to recall how I used to cope as a child. I was never a top student. Friends cried when they got 80% in their tests. I laughed out of sheer happiness, for getting 55%, especially in Math. I had my strenghts, but math was not one of them. I can't remember sheer disappointment except for when I missed out on promotions every year for 5 consecutive years at the NSTP, where I used to work. Why not? I was a star reporter, with many good scoops. After a while, I left and found success elsewhere. And oh, yes, there were two other disappointments in my life I will always remember -- not being chosen to perform in a dance at Chinese school, and not making it to the badminton team!

I told Princess that wining is not everything. Needless to say, my words might as well been thrown out as garbage. There were more tears about how just having something to show for all the hard hours she put into gym would have been nice. It went on for a while. Time will heal this disappointment. I am sure it will.

It is hard. Dealing with non-success. But children need to learn that success is not defined by medals or certificates. Yes, these external forms of gratuity are all welcomed as endorsement of what one has done right. Sometimes a little failure can help a child feel empathy for those who have never won a medal or any certificate. Sometimes it is good for a child to know there will always be someone better prepared, or luckier on that day.

I want Princess to succeed. But how can or should I help define for her "success" that is not measured by "goldstars" in school or "Distinctions" or "Excellent" or cups and medals? I don't really have the answers. All I could say was enjoy the experience of exercising but that went whoosh!

Princess is already highly successful by my definition. Obviouly my standards are much lower than her own. She aims high and demands great things of herself -- in sports, in school. Me? I just want her to stay happy and healthy.

If you have interesting stories to share about how you have helped your child cope with not succeedin, share your tale?

Of painting, buns and creative outlets

Mom got sarcastic today. She told me off for not being on-time in my weekly calls. I laughed it off. I normally call her in the beginning of the week. But somehow, this week, I have been very errant -- not only in calling mom in Malaysia, but in everything. I am beginning to be a slacker with (my home-based) work being so slow. Being not-on-time with my weekly calls with mom is not nice, especially when mom's waiting and waiting.

Today, mom and I chatted about raising children, mostly. She is particularly proud of my nephew who is 4 years old and loves to paint. Mom is not happy with the helper at home who has been slack in taking out the painting kit/gear for my nephew to mess around with. She wants him to continue painting.

I am instantly reminded of how mom has always been very supportive of letting us have a go at making things when we were little. Mom is really good at craft and making dolls and stuff. I never really liked dolls, and still don't.
I remember how mom painted and dressed up a complete doll made of icecream sticks and eggshell(for the head). It looked fantastic. I can never compete with mom on that end.

Cars, lemon perfume oil
So my little nephew who loves cars and loves to paint is being spoilt by my mom and dad. So is my niece who is 7. So is Princess who is 10. Three grandchildren -- and such generosity. Dad just mailed Princess a collection of Sonatinas...He had 2 years ago bought her a collection of over 100 famous pieces. He wants her to continue practising. Princess has learnt quite a few songs from the album dad sent including Moment Musical, Mussette, Doll's Dream and now Fur Elise and Hungarian Dance. Princess should be so thankful for such loving grandparents both - the Lees and the Woolfs. I also remember how Darling Aunty spent heaps of money buying a real McCovy easel for Princess when she was in her painting phase.

Children get the most stimulation and encouragement from the people around them -- whether it be at school, at home or at their friends'. Little people love to do things with their hands -- shape with playdough, hammer on a nail, cut and paste. I remember making a hole (big enough for pegs to fall through) on a little icecream container and throwing Princess a whole heap of pegs. Princess used to love dropping in the pegs and shaking the box...It cost nothing and provided countless hours of joy and stimulation.

Two weeks ago, Princess made her first batch of "perfume oil". My god-brother and his wife had bought Princess this awesome Chemistry sciencekit a few years ago. Princess has used bits and pieces of the kit and the kit had been sitting in her cupboard. Recently she felt inspired to make perfume. So she raided my fridge and got the peel out -- nearly burnt the plastic holder for the tubes -- but made 2 batches of something that resembled lemon perfume oil from her sciencekit. It was awesome watching the enthusiasm and experimentation going on. I didn't give her any help -- me being hopeless at reading instructions. Well, Princess presented one of the perfume tubes to our resident monk at Dorje Chang, who had his birthday early this month. The perfume oil was for him to use in water offering.

I hope Nephew gets to do more paintings and tries more pictures. I have a few of his drawings now (which I will put in a folder) and hope mom sends me more. We want to see him develop his love for painting. He may never like art when he grows older. Who cares. At this stage, all there is to do is to give him the canvas/opportunities and allow him freedom of expression. He may be the first artist in the Lee family just as Princess may be the first Chemist in the Woolf family.

Mom says she has to go. She is experimenting with a Chinese bun recipe I plucked of the internet for her. She says the measurements I gave her were off -- one cup of water was too little for 6 cups of flour. Indeed it was. She was right. But she copied the recipe wrongly...It should have been 1 and 3/4 cups of water, not 1. Ah, the sign of an intuitive cook. Let's hope the buns rise sufficiently and mom will be a convert to how we modern gals cook -- taking recipes off the internet!